I’m a Lesbian. Or at least I identify as one. Like any conventional cis, straight couple we can have issues in relationships too. So don’t get any ideas like “Oh John is being such a Fart-Sparkle, I should leave him and date women” believe me… it’s not any easier, although thank you for potentially broadening my market.
As you may have guessed, I’m in a rough patch in my relationship. I don’t want to give away too many details, but let’s say we’re both not ready for a relationship. We are not ready to devote all of our time to someone else other than ourselves. Yet, we expect the other to dote on us. You can see how frustrating this could be.
In this particular situation, I feel like neither of us will be happy in the long-term. So, what’s the solution? I’m sure the answer to this is divided. “You should talk it out!” “No, no, you need to dump that butthead” Well you’re both right… and simultaneously wrong. When you care as much as I do for someone like my partner, of course, all I want to do is talk through it, and find a place where we’re both happy. Believe me, that would be great. Sadly, I don’t think that conversation would end with two happy people. Someone would end up sacrificing too much and then, well, we’d be right back here.
So that leaves me to walk the plank on this relationship and swim an endless sea of singles until someone comes along that feels right. Yep. We need to break up.
From what I’ve heard, breaking up isn’t easy for anyone. First, you have to admit that all that time and effort you put into building something with that person is going to be all for nothing. Some might say that the time you spent together is precious, and should be remembered as such. Well, for someone who’s been dumped as many times as I have. No, you’re wrong.. and, correct me if I’m wrong but, you’re probably the person that does most of the dumping. Right?
Secondly, you have to find the courage to disappoint someone you (potentially) still care about. In my case, that’s sin number 1. If I let anyone I’m close to down, be prepared for the emotional wreckage that follows. (Please tell me if I’m alone in that really…) You Can imagine, that’s precisely why I’ve never broken up with anyone before. I’ve even gone to great subconscious lengths to convince myself that my unmatched affection and desire for the other person goes un-waivered.
Thirdly, It has to be done. After many agonizing days, maybe weeks or months trying to decide if this is what needs to be done. You’ve got to do it… Ideally somewhere neutral and private… but that doesn’t matter for the dumper… much more for the sake of the dumpee… a consideration if you will. I’m not saying I’ve got this down to a fine art but having been dumped so many times… I think i know what would have softened the blow…
As of writing this, I’m still in the relationship, technically. I can’t say it will last much longer. If you’re dumping someone, or feel like someone’s dumping you. Try to think about yourself. Is this what’s best for you? how would your quality of life change, and will it be for the better?
Bottom line… there’s no such thing as the perfect or easy breakup. Someone will always get hurt. It will always be hard, and no, they never “take it well”
Stay cozy little buns.
Oh one last thing: Don’t dump someone and say you’re doing it for their own good. That’s like the biggest slap in the face with a half rotten salmon you could issue someone.